Tech Tickler Gifts

'You are where you are.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Drool Marks

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

Technology and literature

"All my gadgets are old. I'd like some new gadgets."

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

Keyboard player

"Why run the maze when you don't have to?"

Uranium, heavy water? Where on the web did you say you got the plans for this birdhouse?

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

Our Computer is Up/Down.

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

"When you think of it, all you really need is one 3D printer to start manufacturing them yourself!"

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

'I wrote a program that generates random conspiracy theories.'

'Don't knock it. The copy machine hasn't broken down in a month.'

"Great prototype, but I asked for a grate prototype."

Super Homeworld

"Hmmmm. I'll bluff. Then they'll counter-bluff, so if I counter-counter-bluff...password should do it."

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

Farmer to son: 'For heaven's sake Jeb! Get Bessie out of that tall grass now! Can't you see she's full of ticks?!'

James Dyson

'The main reason I took up the piano was, it's the only musical instrument that gives you a place to set your wine.'

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

"This CD player costs less than players selling for twice as much."

"...This one comes with the latest security devices...'

Beware of Watchdog.

'It's in my resume. I don't do computer windows.'