Tentacle Tickler Gifts

Dear Bertha - I'd write more often, but I always seem to be out of ink! Love, Oggy

Concert Pianist.

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

Piano Recital

"See, Og If mammoth foot ticklish, could me do this"

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

Octopi a la mode.

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

'That's a bit better. Persistence pays off - although, not as well as it did when I was your age.'

Where baby grand pianos come from.

Farmer to son: 'For heaven's sake Jeb! Get Bessie out of that tall grass now! Can't you see she's full of ticks?!'

Tentacle attacking diver.

"I live in dread of being mistaken for an undersea energy cable."

'About this tithing business -- do You accept manna?'

Emmanuel Ax

"Hey! That JERK you just passed is giving us THE TENTACLE!"

"I wasn't sure if the wine was breathing, so I've been giving it mouth to mouth."

Predatory Pianos.

Concert pianist on his way to work.

"O.K., I'm going to demonstrate the proper way to lie to me about flossing."

This week in tentacles

"Clarence really knew how to tickle the ivories."

"I am trying to keep it low key."

'What do you mean, you can't look at the Milky Way because you're lactose-intolerant?'

Piano Shop.

'No-one can avoid cuts!'

Trolley Rage.

'Kitchy, kitchy, kitchy-koo'

Witness the Slap & Tickle School of Negotiation.

Lets push tentacles he says Lets push tentacles! NOW look at the mess we're in...

'We don't get many turtles here.'

Free tickles any size