Ticketing Enthusiast Pillows

"I see cars. Lots of illegally parked cars."

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

Stonehenge Ticket Office

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

Meter Maid

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

'If you're in short pants it's only 50p. Long pants £1.'

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.

Traffic Court

'When you said 'arriving by Amazon' - I thought you meant the bleedin' tickets.'

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

"He lost his Season Ticket."

'We accept payment by cash, card or an arm and a leg.'

"You're in the upper, upper, UPPER balcony."

Ticket Trout

"I knew this was coming when they introduced computer-generated ticket sales."

Senior Prelate's Rail-Card

'This is not a ticket. It's just a piece of paper we decided to put on your car. - Police Dept.'

"I started my first business at eighteen and sold it for £80 million!"

'I assumed the warning about nudity referred to the movie.'

"How much!!!?!"

'And here's a ticket for speeding in the parking lot.'

Russian doll...

"Your tickets are only valid between 9:37 and 09:45 on an alternate Tuesday in a month with an 'R' in it. . . and only on the less-frequent train company. . ."

"The reason I can't show you my licence is because you took it away from me yesterday!"

"Our fare structure is completely transparent, as anyone with a degree in higher mathematics can see."

'Patience, patience, I'm sure it's in here somewhere...'

Virgin Trains - "Don't they go all the way then?"

Anti-Fraud Drive.

'And these are the new proposed additional charges?'

Subway Series