Ticketing Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I see cars. Lots of illegally parked cars."

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

Stonehenge Ticket Office

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

Meter Maid

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

'If you're in short pants it's only 50p. Long pants £1.'

Traffic Court

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.

"He lost his Season Ticket."

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

'When you said 'arriving by Amazon' - I thought you meant the bleedin' tickets.'

'We accept payment by cash, card or an arm and a leg.'

"You're in the upper, upper, UPPER balcony."

"I knew this was coming when they introduced computer-generated ticket sales."

Ticket Trout

'This is not a ticket. It's just a piece of paper we decided to put on your car. - Police Dept.'

Senior Prelate's Rail-Card

"I started my first business at eighteen and sold it for £80 million!"

'And here's a ticket for speeding in the parking lot.'

'I assumed the warning about nudity referred to the movie.'

"How much!!!?!"

"Your tickets are only valid between 9:37 and 09:45 on an alternate Tuesday in a month with an 'R' in it. . . and only on the less-frequent train company. . ."

Russian doll...

"Our fare structure is completely transparent, as anyone with a degree in higher mathematics can see."

"The reason I can't show you my licence is because you took it away from me yesterday!"

'This is my finest hour!'

Virgin Trains - "Don't they go all the way then?"

'Patience, patience, I'm sure it's in here somewhere...'

Subway Series