Ticket Tales Enthusiast T-Shirts

'This is not a ticket. It's just a piece of paper we decided to put on your car. - Police Dept.'

Fishing Tales

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"Well did he?"

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Subway Thrillers

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

A Salmon Lie

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

Stonehenge Ticket Office

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'

'Go to Hell'

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

'The Moving Finger Writes; And, Having Writ, Moves On To A Three Week, Twenty City Book Tour.'

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

"So I break free and I swear that hook was this big."

'He's lying about either a fish or his penis.'

'I don't believe for one minute that an octopus crawled up last night and ate all the coconuts!'

A Tale of the Sea

'Women don't simply believe everything we hear, you know.' - 'But that does not stop you repeating it.'

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

Tall tales and Short stories

Fisherman catches the Big Fish

'And that's only the size of the fly.'

"You've been exaggerating again, haven't you?"

Traffic Court

Be Believable Anywhere, Anytime in these Quality Fib Overalls.

'Lord, don't let him get started on the ones that got away!'

Kid reading Tolstoy's 'War and Peace' as Dad brings in 'The Three Bears'.