Gastro Guru Gifts

Stomachache.

The World is our Ulcer.

Man suffering terrrible cramps at dinner

"Take it for excess gas."

"It's a de-deconstructed steak and kidney pie."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Domestic Superheroes!!

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

Barbecuing Aprons For Today's Guys

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"