Gut Health Guru Gifts

How long have you got? Until they discover a cure for IBS!

Friendly bacteria of the human gut.

'I have a friend who says his business has never been better. . . but then, he's a gastroenterologist!'

'If I knew what those trillions of bacteria wanted, I'd give it to them.'

"Before consuming as directed, Millennial Alice needed assurance 
that they would not disturb her gut health."

"They don't look familiar...probably from another fecal transplant."

Who needs Facebook friends when you've got billions of friendly gut bacteria?

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Aisle 2: Stuff to help you crap.

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"There's 20 billion of us crammed into our capsule world, who's for burrowing south to freedom?"

"The yoghurt, does it contain bifidobacteriumi and lactobacillus bulgaricus?"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Coronavirus Sisyphys

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

Coronavirus Waves

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

National Academy of Sport

Keep Fit.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Congratulations on the new you!

"Please don't kill me."

'I gotta lose some weight.'