Gut Health Gurus Gifts

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'How do you ever get sick?'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Self help acupuncture

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

National Academy of Sport

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Congratulations on the new you!

The new diet not working out too good, huh, Frank?

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"Please don't kill me."

Keep Fit.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

'Have you been working out?'