Health Gurus Gifts

'...and to think, forty years ago I gave up smoking and drinking for this.'

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

"Believe me, it's important to stay hydrated!"

'First they shoot at us, then they try to fly like us, now they want to steal our lunch.'

'Looks like you've got enough fiber in your system.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

21st Century Nursery Rhymes Redux. Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet Eating her whey and curd. Along came a spider Who began to chide her For a diet he deemed absurd. Let me eat what I want. Your carb/fiber balance is way off. You need more protein. And flies. It's your life, but I'd see a nutritionist.

"I don't know, doc, I'm just not peeling well!"

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

Cod Liver Oil: A group of angry Atlantic Cods have finally found the person who has the remains of their former Livers being sold as a Health product.

'I wonder if we're getting enough fibre?'

'You're getting older... it's a common complaint.'

Another session of the lunch-hour scientists...

"Drinking and smoking will certainly help you to get an 'enhanced annuity'. . ."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Coronavirus Sisyphys

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

Coronavirus Waves

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

National Academy of Sport

Keep Fit.