Wellness Guru Gifts

All natural herbs - vitamins - supplements. 'Looks like he died of natural causes.'

'Stan, I'm worried about how contented you seem - I think you need therapy.'

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

'I'm really stressd. My therapist thinks it's caused by too much power yoga.'

1999 Influenza Chic.

'This 'manna' stuff You're sending -- is it low-carb?'

'My obsessive-compulsive patient is making great progress -- he missed his last appointment!'

Nutritional Supplements.

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

'Have you been working out?'

Essential Motor Oils

Hypochondria preservation and Encouragement. 'It's Terri Dinkmer. She's calling in well.'

'You're in extreme danger because. . . and of course worrying about those things will kill you.'

'Well, tests show that you have had a small heart attack - what one might call a boutique heart attack.'

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

These anti-obestity pills can help...but not if you eat them all at once!

'The nurse says I'm morbidly obese...So what are you going to do about it?'

"I know this is just a preliminary exam, Mr. Davis, but I think I can see the root of your problems!"

Smart drugs. 'Gee, duh, I don't know. Does it look like we have any in stock?'

'I can personally vouch for its potency, sir.'

"I keep staring and it's still there."

"Papi, this says laughter de-stresses the entire body!"

'You carpe diem your way, and I'll carpe diem mine.'

"Um, when I said you should allow yourself a cheat day, I was referring to your diet."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"You should try yoga. It makes you relaxed, flexible and loose."

Self Help

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe