Health And Beauty Guru Gifts

Max supplements his income by working as a shill for a plastic surgeon.

Self help acupuncture

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

The adoration of the gels.

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Dragon Hair-dryer.

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Dating is so expensive...

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Too much concealer?"

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Be creative...!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."