Wellness Gurus Gifts

"Health advice does change over time, but I doubt if we'll EVER be recommending a diet of pizza and beer."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Coronavirus Waves

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Coronavirus Sisyphys

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

National Academy of Sport

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Congratulations on the new you!

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

Keep Fit.

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

The Canary in the Coal Mine

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'