Mental Wellness Gurus Gifts

'Next!'

'There's nothing wrong with you that a couple placebos won't cure.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

"The overthinker"

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

"Uptight End"

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

'I tried being pessimistic. I was terrible at it.'

"I appreciate the support. It feels good to finally get that off my chest."

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

Dreams I have had...

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

DNA Analysis.

You are what you eat!

"Thanks, but I already have my 'support bubble' right here."

"I'm going on a little mental-health walk and you're not coming with me."

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

"I'm feeling somewhat optimistic. Let's get perennials."

"Try letting the ball come to you."

"Now we'll just need a vaccine for soul-destroying expectations, crushing workloads and the debilitating effects of 28-hour days..."

Mental Health System Breakdown

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

I applied for a job with NASA but they turned me down. I think it was because I told them I wanted to be an astronaut because in space, you can't cry because there's no gravity and tears can't flow.

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

'Sometimes I think if it wasn't for Lucy here, I'd go mad.'

"These quiet walks in the park remind me of what a psycho you were before you started taking the meds."

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'