Holistic Health Guru Gifts

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

People To Avoid At Parties # 64 I use a psychic healer..she a reincarnation..

Alternative Medicine.

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Coronavirus Waves

Coronavirus Sisyphys

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

National Academy of Sport

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Keep Fit.

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Congratulations on the new you!

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'