Online Health Guru Gifts

'Doc Com'

'Okee-dokey... Let's just see how your diagnosis and treatment plan compare to what webMD.com has to say...'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Coronavirus Waves

Coronavirus Sisyphys

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

National Academy of Sport

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

It's about self-control. "'No Thyself".

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

Keep Fit.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Congratulations on the new you!

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'