Online Health Guru Gifts

'Doc Com'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Self help acupuncture

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

Coronavirus Sisyphys

Coronavirus Waves

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

National Academy of Sport

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Congratulations on the new you!

Keep Fit.

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'