Digital Health Guru Gifts

"I run a weight loss site, and my friend here runs a bodybuilding site."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

Deposit phones here

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

"Well sorry doc, but that's not the reading I get from my digital wrist heart monitor."

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"Everything I see looks like a website captcha. I'm either having vision problems, or I'm spending too much time online."

"It's the only way I can get some of my patience to listen to me!"

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

'Nurse Nodnik will be live blogging the operation.'

"So, how do you like your new medical website?"

"The doctor says your vital signs are strong, but the IT guy says your portal password is weak."

A doctor checks on a patient hooked up to a complicated-looking machine.

"I'm so much more relaxed since I got this mindfulness app."

"Well, if you followed me on twitter, you'd already know your diagnosis."

'I love this RX site - I can look up prices for all of my unaffordable medicine around town!'

"What an interesting article about why looking at your phone before bed is bad."

'To see how the ward is doing you just need to use your smartphone to set up a wi-fi hotspot which you can use to download a pdf of the data.'

"That's the fifth customer this morning - video calling the doctor's surgery because of Covid restrictions."

Man waiting in line to self scan himself at a hospital.

"I'm in my doctor's telemedical waiting room!"

'Your x-ray showed a broken leg, but I fixed it on our computer.'

"This article says too much time on the web can cause depression, anxiety and more!"