Internet Health Guru Gifts

"I've already consulted WebMD. I'm just here for a second opinion."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"We need to update your entire operating system."

'Is this still America?'

Coronavirus Sisyphys

Coronavirus Waves

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

National Academy of Sport

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

Congratulations on the new you!

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Keep Fit.

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

The Canary in the Coal Mine