Digital Wellness Advocate Gifts

"Your neck pain. . . I have a theory."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

“It's a tree, sweetie. No need to Google it.”

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

Screen Time at the Dining Table

Deposit phones here

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

NIl by 'phone.

"Hey Siri, why does my neck hurt?"

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

We only asked him to switch off his mobile and he seems to have shut down completely,

M.D. We call it "MySpace Wrist." Stop taking pictures of yourself.

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

"Come home when the internet's back on."

"Well sorry doc, but that's not the reading I get from my digital wrist heart monitor."

"I agree, it's a real worry. We may have to consider limiting her screen time."

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"I run a weight loss site, and my friend here runs a bodybuilding site."

"All I said was that for health and safety reasons they'd have to leave their phones switched off!"

"My mommy's passwords are stronger than your mommy's passwords."

"It's the only way I can get some of my patience to listen to me!"

"Everything I see looks like a website captcha. I'm either having vision problems, or I'm spending too much time online."

No Texting

Hiding From Social Media