Digital Wellness Enthusiast Gifts

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"My best friend is my phone."

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

'My best method for relieving stress is to misplace my cellphone.'

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

Children's games and technology

'Let's have a quiet romantic evening together...we'll turn our cell phones off.'

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

Deposit phones here

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

This way to Utopia. . . No cell or wifi reception here.

"Well sorry doc, but that's not the reading I get from my digital wrist heart monitor."

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"It's the only way I can get some of my patience to listen to me!"

"Anywhere that doesn't have tvs, computers, radios, ipods,cell phones or video games."

"I have so many summer videos on my phone, but I don’t remember being there." "Sure. Because you experienced it all through your phone."

"Log into nature"

Screen Addiction

"I run a weight loss site, and my friend here runs a bodybuilding site."

Free Msg: Your bill is ready to view online. To pay now, login at

"Isn't this nice? No screens. Just the majesty of the here and now."

"Sometimes, you will be asked to go days without Netflix."

'And you can no longer talk to people face to face!'

"Before you take our order, can you turn off your Wi-Fi? I want to talk to my husband while we're here."

'First there was Pinter-esque. Then there was Pinter-est.'