Lifestyle Gurus Gifts

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

"I gotta start taking better care of myself, Joe - you got any high-fiber whisky?"

". . . What's the secret of your long life?"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

But is it organic?

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

"Death coach..."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

Perfection

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

'Have you been working out?'

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Does it spark joy?

Nutritional Supplements.

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

"Papi, this says laughter de-stresses the entire body!"

"You should try yoga. It makes you relaxed, flexible and loose."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"