Fitness Gurus Gifts

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

"I think that form '10,000' steps may have been 9,999 too many!"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

On the back of the t-shirt...

Muscles

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Exercise Class

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Yoga Xmas Decorations

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

The trim reaper

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'What are you eating now?'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

The new diet not working out too good, huh, Frank?

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

Holiday Aerobics.

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

Psychiatry in the Park