Fitness Guru With A Twist Gifts

Multitasking

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Yoga Xmas Decorations

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

Psychiatry in the Park

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

Fast Food Dieter

"My fit watch has conspired with the TV remote. The remote only stays on some fitness channel until I get up and exercise."

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

Pelobong

Cyclist Flamingoes

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

Very drunk professional cyclist

Miracles of modern sports medicine: the Nerdectomy.

"The only way to stop the spread is to eat less and exercise more."

"I've gotta lay off the 3 little pigs."

"His fitness tracker said he needed 36 minutes more sleep!"

'Doc, I'd like you to meet my personal trainer. This should explain a lot about my medical situation!'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"You call that complementary!?!"

May, 1502. . . Leonardo Da Vinci Invents the Exercise Bike

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'Your request for a company vehicle has been approved, however, it's not the Cadillac you wanted. Since you need the exercise, you're getting a skateboard.'