Mystical Fitness Guru Gifts

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Yoga Xmas Decorations

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

City Marathon.

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

Psychiatry in the Park

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"My fit watch has conspired with the TV remote. The remote only stays on some fitness channel until I get up and exercise."

Cyclist Flamingoes

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

"I've gotta lay off the 3 little pigs."

"His fitness tracker said he needed 36 minutes more sleep!"

'His idea of healthy living is going to the pub in his tracksuit.'

"You call that complementary!?!"

Miracles of modern sports medicine: the Nerdectomy.

"The only way to stop the spread is to eat less and exercise more."

'Doc, I'd like you to meet my personal trainer. This should explain a lot about my medical situation!'

May, 1502. . . Leonardo Da Vinci Invents the Exercise Bike

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

A mid-lithe crisis.

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

'If you want your diet to work, you're going to have to take the wheels off your refrigerator.'