Mystical Fitness Guru Gifts

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Yoga Xmas Decorations

City Marathon.

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

Psychiatry in the Park

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

Robber on treadmill

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

Cyclist Flamingoes

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"My fit watch has conspired with the TV remote. The remote only stays on some fitness channel until I get up and exercise."

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

It doesn't get any better than this --- Tai Chi with chai tea!

"I've gotta lay off the 3 little pigs."

'Doc, I'd like you to meet my personal trainer. This should explain a lot about my medical situation!'

"You call that complementary!?!"

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

Miracles of modern sports medicine: the Nerdectomy.

Ladies in Lycra

"His fitness tracker said he needed 36 minutes more sleep!"

'His idea of healthy living is going to the pub in his tracksuit.'

"The only way to stop the spread is to eat less and exercise more."

May, 1502. . . Leonardo Da Vinci Invents the Exercise Bike

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

A mid-lithe crisis.

Welcome 'The Biggest Loser' New Contestants!