Heavenly Fitness Guru Gifts

"That's it . . . looking good . . . and . . . after this . . . we're . . . going to . . . be working . . . on those . . . wing muscles."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

On the back of the t-shirt...

Muscles

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Exercise Class

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Yoga Xmas Decorations

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

The trim reaper

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'What are you eating now?'

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

Holiday Aerobics.

Psychiatry in the Park

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'I want a brain, but I'd settle for buns of steel!'

Angel doing the hula hoop.

"Yes, sir, fat free—straight from the gym."

'The aerobics will give you a more youthful appearance overall, but you need to see a podiatrist about your crows feet.'

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

'It says for best work out to dismantle and reassemble.'

"My fit watch has conspired with the TV remote. The remote only stays on some fitness channel until I get up and exercise."

"How much could your mother bench?"

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."