Fitness Gurus With A Wild Side Gifts

Cyclist Flamingoes

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Yoga Xmas Decorations

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

Psychiatry in the Park

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"My fit watch has conspired with the TV remote. The remote only stays on some fitness channel until I get up and exercise."

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

"His fitness tracker said he needed 36 minutes more sleep!"

'Much like my hairline and waistline, our numbers are trending in the wrong direction.'

Miracles of modern sports medicine: the Nerdectomy.

"I've gotta lay off the 3 little pigs."

May, 1502. . . Leonardo Da Vinci Invents the Exercise Bike

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'Your request for a company vehicle has been approved, however, it's not the Cadillac you wanted. Since you need the exercise, you're getting a skateboard.'

A mid-lithe crisis.

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

"But doc, I can't understand what my body is telling me. It's mouth is always full!"

'If you want your diet to work, you're going to have to take the wheels off your refrigerator.'

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

How the Fiddle Stays Fit.

Health 101.

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

Speed Enforced By Really Slow Walkers.