Exercise Guru Gifts

'Hold the elevator!'

"So it's kick-boxing now, is it, Debbie?"

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!

Ladies in Lycra

'Have you given any thought to sampling the tennis court instead of the food court?'

Wake up, couch potato!

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

Dog on back on bench about to lift rawhide bone-like free weights.

Every Morning Precisely At Seven, Mrs. Henderson Took Petey On His Exercise Fly.

Welcome 'The Biggest Loser' New Contestants!

"You call that complementary!?!"

"Show-off!"

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

"The only way to stop the spread is to eat less and exercise more."

"I used to chase the ball, but since I'm in better shape than him, it's better for him to chase it for awhile."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

On the back of the t-shirt...

Muscles

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Exercise Class

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"