Home Gym Guru Gifts

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

Sisyphus during Covid

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

On the back of the t-shirt...

Muscles

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Exercise Class

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Yoga Xmas Decorations

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

The trim reaper

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

'What are you eating now?'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

Holiday Aerobics.

Psychiatry in the Park

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'I want a brain, but I'd settle for buns of steel!'

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"Yes, sir, fat free—straight from the gym."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"My fit watch has conspired with the TV remote. The remote only stays on some fitness channel until I get up and exercise."