Home Gym Guru Pillows

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

Sisyphus during Covid

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

On the back of the t-shirt...

Muscles

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Yoga Xmas Decorations

Exercise Class

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

The trim reaper

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'What are you eating now?'

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

Holiday Aerobics.

Psychiatry in the Park

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'I want a brain, but I'd settle for buns of steel!'

'It says for best work out to dismantle and reassemble.'

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

"My fit watch has conspired with the TV remote. The remote only stays on some fitness channel until I get up and exercise."

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"Yes, sir, fat free—straight from the gym."

"How much could your mother bench?"