Lifestyle Gurus Pillows

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

"I gotta start taking better care of myself, Joe - you got any high-fiber whisky?"

". . . What's the secret of your long life?"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

But is it organic?

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

"Death coach..."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

'Have you been working out?'

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

Perfection

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Does it spark joy?

Nutritional Supplements.

"Papi, this says laughter de-stresses the entire body!"

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

"You should try yoga. It makes you relaxed, flexible and loose."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

'Cut back on the women and song. You can still have the wine though.'