Gut Health Geek Gifts

Friendly bacteria

You might want to cut back on the probiotics.

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

The Cougher

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

All Natural Nothing

"We need to update your entire operating system."

'Is this still America?'

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"I've been genetically modified!"

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

Ideas that failed: Goliath Goats.

'Darling, we were made for each other.'

'He's got your tattoos.'

DNA Xmas.

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

Baldness Facts

Brian works in stem cell research

'You may share 85% of your genetic material with him, but I share 5% tops.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

"I guess exercise will make me feel more energetic, but I feel like I'm wasting all my energy exercising!"

Genetic Manipulation

"Hey, Zorro! You forgot your mask."

DNA Lab. I spliced bee DNA into a dam-building rodent

An inbred poodle.

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

"Eat lots of carrots."

'I'm afraid our worst suspicions have been confirmed - we found slug, snail and a trace amount of puppydog tail.'

Dolly, Twenty Years Later