Future Memoirist Gifts

"I'll give you a cookie if you promise to paint me as a pillar among women in your future memoir."

'I'm writing my diaries.' 'Neither am I.'

'I'm only here to pep up my autobiography.'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"Mom! Kathy's feeding her liver to the dog! Want to see the video?"

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

'Early Laptops.'

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

'The end. Well, time for bed. What are you writing?'

'Oh, I'm just writing a tender memoir or my long ago affair with J.F.K...it's filled with pathos and sad wishful longing...'

"What I did on my summer vacation and how I optioned it to Miramax..."

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

'He's into Proust as only a child can be.'

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

Woman at bookshop counter says: 'The Political Memoirs Wing is through there.'

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'