Future Novelist Gifts

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'He's into Proust as only a child can be.'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"He can't come out to play right now...he's working on his autobiography."

"I'm a great texter, but I'm a little out of practice when it comes to actually writing. Luckily, the make make a big eraser for kids like me."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"She's always writing in that journal of hers. Maybe she'll be a notary public when she grows up."

"If there's a book in me, it'll probably have to stay."

'Your book is for the age group from 7.6 years to 9.3 years, but what we're looking for is a book for the age-group from 5.11 years to 7.3 years.'

'My Christmas list-Chapter 1'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

"Welcome! Your seating is reserved, I'll be your server. The specials today are math, history, and English!"

'Isn't that cute. She's writing her memoir.'

Why do we, like, have to, umm, learn the 5 paragraph essay? To organize your thoughts and communicate clearly. But it's, like, you know, kind of a formula, so it sorts, don't you think

Bleh! That dreaded time of year had come around again. Everyone says it's torture. Prepare for the Apocalypse. Ok, class. Together we will all somehow survive

This is my report on my summer vacation, and that's my script doctor, Murray, who helped me punch it up a bit.

"I don't know about you, but I couldn't wait to get back to our book club."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Victor Hugo

The DaVinci Code

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Reading my Critics

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Jean-Paul Sartre

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."