Future Memoirist Pillows

"I'll give you a cookie if you promise to paint me as a pillar among women in your future memoir."

'I'm writing my diaries.' 'Neither am I.'

'I'm only here to pep up my autobiography.'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'Early Laptops.'

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

"Mom! Kathy's feeding her liver to the dog! Want to see the video?"

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

"What I did on my summer vacation and how I optioned it to Miramax..."

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

'He's into Proust as only a child can be.'

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'

Eva Schloss

Woman at bookshop counter says: 'The Political Memoirs Wing is through there.'

"My report on summer vacation. . . Book and movie rights are available for $1000 each."

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'