Memoirist In Training Pillows

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

"Simon, I'm not really interested in your juvenilia."

"You're not going anywhere, young man, until you probe and release your catch!"

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"I'll give you a cookie if you promise to paint me as a pillar among women in your future memoir."

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

"My report on summer vacation. . . Book and movie rights are available for $1000 each."

"I loved your embarrassing personal essay in the 'Times.' "

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

Eva Schloss

'I want a scurrilous biography. If it was good enough for Getty, it will be good enough for me.'

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'

Woman at bookshop counter says: 'The Political Memoirs Wing is through there.'

My memoirs - 'I've character assassinated the target.'

"Sorry, but your personal life story just isn't very original."

'Sire, they are starting to call you Edward the Confessor.'

"Why don’t you just go back to writing your memoirs and forget about the whole graphic-novel thing?"

Vanity Publishing.

Wait Brian! You forgot the little Airbus chapter!