Memoir Maker Pillows

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

'My whole life to date catalogued - so when I pop my clogs, those who follow will know what they are chucking away <tsk>.'

'What are you doing whining to me about your terrible childhood? Write it all down, you idiot. You've got a bestseller there.'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

Fifty Shades of Gray

"Better to have had ice cream and lost it than never to have had ice cream at all."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

"They called me Dumbo. A memoir of redemption."

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

"I'll give you a cookie if you promise to paint me as a pillar among women in your future memoir."

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

Andrea Leadsom's memoirs

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

Eva Schloss

Woman at bookshop counter says: 'The Political Memoirs Wing is through there.'

'I want a scurrilous biography. If it was good enough for Getty, it will be good enough for me.'

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'

"I loved your embarrassing personal essay in the 'Times.' "

My memoirs - 'I've character assassinated the target.'

"Sorry, but your personal life story just isn't very original."

"Good autobiography, but I preferred your memoirs."

Jared Kushner book Breaking History published.

'Sire, they are starting to call you Edward the Confessor.'

"Why don’t you just go back to writing your memoirs and forget about the whole graphic-novel thing?"

Vanity Publishing.

Wait Brian! You forgot the little Airbus chapter!