Memoir Collector Pillows

"When I said if you return to the office you can bring something from home....I meant a photo, or PLANT!"

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

Kanya West Inspired Children Books.

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

'A is for Arse.'

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"I have an app for that."

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

A boy with a camera

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

Fifty Shades of Gray

'Once upon a time there was a really lousy editor name Sue. Sue was lazy and stupid, so she was fired, and her boss lived happily ever after. The end.'

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

You trip on it, you buy it.

Cut out and keep your own Jane Austen.

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

'Oh, I'm just writing a tender memoir or my long ago affair with J.F.K...it's filled with pathos and sad wishful longing...'

Home Sweet Second Home.

'It's time you knew the truth. You're not my real son. You're a novelization.'

Pile of books for sale with sign: Expired Fifteen-Minutes-of-Fame Books.

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

'Be careful! She loves to curl up by the fire with a good author!'

Eva Schloss