Funny Farm Life Keeper Gifts

"Don't you dare touch that snooze button!"

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'Oh Hi!'

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"Well, that one got away."

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

Picks your own strawberries....Strangle your own turkeys

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

'He's fine, it's only man flu not swine flu.'

The pig that had a glimpse of the afterlife.

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

"I'm an enigma!"

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'Hang on a minute...'

Milkin' Impossible

1,572 Performances.

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky..."

"Mum, please jump up and down . . . I feel like a milkshake."

#FAIL

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

"I'd like to be the cream in your coffee."

I think that's what they call 'Googling yourself'!

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'Sheep striptease'.

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"