Funny Bones Gifts

"Get names!"

'She's not 'pushing 40' - she's 'dragging' it!'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"Well, the usual salary for a new staff member is one rat every two to three weeks, Mr. Shoodick."

Snowprov

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

A Club Sandwitch.

An early space launch attempt.

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

Fetch the Boomerang

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

He. 'How would you like to own a--er--a little puppy?' She. 'Oh, Mr. Softly, this is so sudden!'

Movers and shakers.

"Enough helium makes laughing gas."

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

That's the worst case of 'cow arse' I've seen in a child!

Dog at a restaurant

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

Hang Time Fido