Animal Funny Bone Gifts

"I tell you, it's really funny: If you scratch my dad right here, he can't resist shaking his leg..."

Snowprov

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

An early space launch attempt.

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Movers and shakers.

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

"Enough helium makes laughing gas."

Dog at a restaurant

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

"Sadly, we're seeing more and more of this as we encroach on their natural habitat."