Funny Bone Gifts

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

Movers and shakers.

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

'It's what separates dog from beast.'

Universal's Sudoku.

'I'd like a ring, but nothing too expensive. This is only my first marriage.'

That should keep it from overflowing again. Now, if you'll just sign the work order, I'll be on my way.

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"I lost 5 pounds and you didn't even notice!"

'The bridge club is ready to start, dear.'

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

I start everyday by reading the paper. (on dart board: Go back to Medical School,Get a real job,Watch t.v.steal ideas,Read comics steal ideas)

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

'Cartoonists!'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'Just ONCE I'd like to have a summer romance!'

Policeman to driver; 'You gotta be kidding. Your name is actually Anna Nicole Smith?'

'Don't be frightened, he's only been 'n' gone 'n' done his back in again.'

"Don't go to the archaeologist's house. He'll give you rocks for trick or treat."

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"After all I've done for you, and you cheat on me with that laptop?!"

"You know, we could easily handle this peacefully, but there are too many adults on the field."

"If at first you don't succeed, give up skydiving."

Cellphone dog.

'Hey - these things are pretty good!'

'That's the third putt he's missed.. . will you keep your head still?'

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"I'll say one thing for you. You've got green fingers."

"We're moving to a much safer neighborhood."

"Have no fear, Baldo...the Cruzer is now your personal love coach."

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'There's nothing here but fish - what do we eat?'

'Miss Mckinley, do you have a penny? My desk is wobbly.'

'I couldn't do my homework because my pocket calculator had a nervous breakdown.'