Pharmaceutical Funny Bone Gifts

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Snowprov

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Eucharist

Movers and shakers.

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."