Fashion Funny Bone Gifts

Butter Tarts.

Maude's new bra came with added lift

Snowprov

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

An early space launch attempt.

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

Fish in Water Cooler.

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Movers and shakers.

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

Dog at a restaurant

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

tax

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

"Get names!"

We have boorish stocks for boorish times.