Sports Funny Bone Gifts

'Your shoe's untied.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

An early space launch attempt.

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Movers and shakers.

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

Dog at a restaurant

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

That's the worst case of 'cow arse' I've seen in a child!

tax

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

"Then it's settled -- our strategy is to hope for better things."