Sports Funny Bone Gifts

Pop. Crack! Snap! Creak! Every time I play tennis my body makes a racket!

'Your shoe's untied.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

An early space launch attempt.

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Movers and shakers.

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

tax

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

Dog at a restaurant

That's the worst case of 'cow arse' I've seen in a child!

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'