Serious Funny Bone Gifts

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

A Club Sandwitch.

An early space launch attempt.

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Eucharist

"Our forensic scientist quit, so our computer guy has stepped in for now."

Movers and shakers.

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"