Healthcare Funny Bone Gifts

'I don't need informed consent to take your temperature.'

You have a low grade fever.

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

A Club Sandwitch.

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Movers and shakers.

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

Dog at a restaurant

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

That's the worst case of 'cow arse' I've seen in a child!

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

"Get names!"

"If at first you don't succeed, give up skydiving."