Office Funny Bone Gifts

'I see you have no life.. we like that in an employee.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Fish in Water Cooler.

'Bugger it, we're out of beer!'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Movers and shakers.

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

tax

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!

Dog at a restaurant

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"