Office Funny Bone Gifts

'I see you have no life.. we like that in an employee.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Fish in Water Cooler.

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

'Bugger it, we're out of beer!'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Movers and shakers.

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

Dog at a restaurant

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

tax

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.