Finance Funny Bone Gifts

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

Investment firm - Dept. of Rumor Research and Verification.

In tray and Out tray

"How much did you spend at Macy's this year?

"No, sorry, I'm fighting inflation."

Colin was always looking for new ways to communicate complex financial products.

Everybody pays taxes.

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

He's a financial analyst. He's running the numbers for his latest project. C'mon! You can do better than this! Running the numbers didn't give him the needed results, so he's trying something else. Mmm, creamy. I like this. Sometimes you just have to fudge the numbers.

When credit card companies start charging their employees late fees.

'I'm sorry, but the computer rejected your sob story.'

'What do you mean overdrawn...I still have twelve cheques left!'

Bank Manager: 'No, you cannot give your money a hug.'

tax

We have boorish stocks for boorish times.

Akme National Bank: Our Assets Can Whip Your Assets.

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Fish in Water Cooler.

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Movers and shakers.

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'