Fiscal Funny Bone Gifts

'Money problems again?'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Fish in Water Cooler.

Eucharist

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Movers and shakers.

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

tax

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

That's the worst case of 'cow arse' I've seen in a child!