Forest Funny Bone Gifts

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

Snowprov

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

An early space launch attempt.

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

'Bugger it, we're out of beer!'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Movers and shakers.

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

Dog at a restaurant

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

That's the worst case of 'cow arse' I've seen in a child!

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

"Sadly, we're seeing more and more of this as we encroach on their natural habitat."