Frozen Funny Bone Gifts

Snowprov

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

A Club Sandwitch.

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

'Bugger it, we're out of beer!'

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Eucharist

Movers and shakers.

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

Dog at a restaurant