Frozen Funny Bone Gifts

Snowprov

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

A Club Sandwitch.

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Eucharist

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

'Bugger it, we're out of beer!'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Movers and shakers.

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"